From Abigail to Tamar
A Series by Jen Miller, a.k.a. "Sara"


I sometimes jokingly refer to myself as “the queen” (in my home), but Abigail was a real-life
queen, the wife of a real-life King: David – her second husband.  Second husband? Do you
smell a scandal here, or was this second marriage the natural order of life, a dropped stitch
picked up, or something more powerful, supernatural?

Abigail was beautiful and keenly intelligent; but the first go-around, she married an evil,
brutish, selfish man: Nabal. 

Can anyone identify with this?  Or you might ask, how intelligent could she have been?

Admittedly, my first marriage was not to the man God had intended for me.  He was an
unbeliever, selfish, and yes, brutal.* Unlike Abigail who didn’t have a choice who she married,
I did. Like Abigail, I considered myself to be a decently intelligent woman. But, in my neediness
to feel loved and cared for by another – instead of by God as His real-life princess, and wait
patiently for the believer He had prepared in advance for me, I said, “I do,” to the wrong man.
I knew full well at the time that I was making a huge mistake and should have run fast in the
opposite direction, using the brains God gave me. Instead, I knowingly chose to make a very
poor, destructive life decision out of my human inadequacies and out of emotion. That lack of
faithfulness and trust in God cost me – a lot.*     

Can anyone identify with this?

As intelligent as she was, Abigail, on the other hand, didn’t have a choice in who she would
marry.  She was born in 1010 BC in the land of Carmel – a Carmelite.  She was born in the
era known as the Iron Age. It was most likely that the young, untouched, beautiful and intelligent
Abigail did not even meet the brut, Nabal, that her parents likely arranged for her to marry –
because he was wealthy – until she was fully gowned and on the spot, expected to say, “I do.” 

It was after her life commitment to Nabal that she had the same personal choices you and I
have whenever we make a decision – poor or wise.  She choice to be faithful to God and His
Word.  She choice to:

  1. to live contended with whom she was bound in marriage until GOD Himself, through
    her faithfulness and Godliness in tandem with His supernatural power and perfect
    timing, changed her circumstance;  Philippians 4:11
  2. to live daily using the intelligence and wisdom God gifted in her; Proverbs 8:33
  3. to live a proactive, Godly life of integrity before her husband and household and toward
    her husband and household, that revealed the characteristics of God, the fruit of His
    Spirit; I Peter 3:1
  4. to trust GOD to work out the rest (all the bad stuff), in His own supreme and super-
    natural way and perfect timing. Proverbs 3:5-6

Aren’t you glad we’re blessed by Him to live in an age and a country of supremely reigning
free will? The second greatest gift He has given to each of us. Nobody’s choosing a boyfriend
or husband for us.  We’re free to choose the one we wish to bind our self to in marriage, and
then free to choose how we live out our days in front of our husband (and behind his back): 
Godly or ungodly.

Because of Abigail’s faithfulness to her husband and to GOD, in hand with her patience and
her PROACTIVE shrewdness to protect her husband, herself, her family, her servants, her
people of Carmel when they were all facing destruction because of Nabal’s self-centeredness,
brutality, lack of respect, care, and compassion for others, GOD TOOK NABAL OUT, dead on
the spot, when Abigail shared with her husband what she had done to save him, their people,
and all that they owned.  She was very intelligent… wise and shrewd and Godly.

Then, like my own second chance, God brought Abigail not simply to another man to share
her life, but to a KING to wed – the man she had protected her evil, ungrateful Nabal from when
Nabal pompously refused to care for King David and his men while they were in battle to
PROTECT Nabal and his people.    

GOD IS BOTH JUST AND GOOD ALL THE TIME. We need simply to live Godly. Live our daily
lives in faithfulness to Him and in obedience to His Word, striving for the fruit of His Spirit in
all that we say and do (or not say and do), and HE WILL NOT DISAPPOINT US.

It is mankind who disappoints – both male and female – by our own personal choices, not God.
He is the epitome of the fruit of His Spirit which is “love, joy, peace, forbearance [patience],
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

Your husband may be a Nabal, or he may be a David. Regardless of which, and regardless of
how you feel about your husband, do you continually degrade him to his face, or do you honor
and obey God in your husband’s face, with the fruit of the Spirit on your tongue and in your

Do you continually degrade your husband to others, in the way you speak about him or refer to
him to others, or do you speak of him with the fruit of the Spirit on your tongue and in your

Like GOD Himself struck Nabal down (forever), it is GOD’s place (not mine and yours), to
carry out judgment in word and action, knowing that we have “ALL sinned and fallen short of
the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23 NIV)  And it is HE who will “reward those who earnestly seek
him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV)

“Choose this day whom you will serve.” (Joshua 24:15 NIV) Either yourself, like Nabal, or God
and those He has entrusted to you for your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

To read more about Queen Abigail:  I Samuel 25:2-44; 27:3; 30:5; 2 Samuel 2:2; 3:3; 1 Chronicles 3:1

*Jen’s life story in book, e-book, and audio book: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep: The Story of
Sara,” is available through all major book stores, and discounted through this web site.
Click here.

From Abigail to Tamar, Copyright 2011 Jen Miller, All Rights Reserved

About our Jen Miller, Sr. Chaplain-Minister dedicated to women,
Founder & Chairman of The Sara Ministry



Copyright 2017 The Sara Ministry - All Rights Reserved